Top 10 Christmas nightmares (in no particular order)

1. Remembering to get the Turkey out of the freezer on Christmas morning (should have been 24 hours earlier).
2. The kids receiving the same present from 2 other people.
3. Sons new girlfiend telling you she’s a vegetarian, just as you are about to dish up.
4. You give your mistress your wifes Christmas present (chances are you’ve given your mistresses sexy little size 10 thong to your size 14  wife). 
5. Mother in Law (say no more).
6. You want to watch a good film but Aunti flo wants to watch the Eastenders omnibus.
7. That bumber pack of batteries you bought cheap from Ebay still haven’t arrived.
8. The kids give the cats all their christmas treats in one go (it’s your job removing the vomit from grannies slippers).
9. Oxfam adverts showing images from the latest famine just as your about to go and pick at some leftovers.
10. The pub is closed.